Croesus Custody to the Editress

Mr Elliott


As I understand from a member of your worthy Society that you have frequent communication with the charming circle at Tabby Hall, I beg to offer myself, thro’ your medium, as a candidate for the office of their Treasurer. I am so little used to talk of myself, that I hardly know how to enumerate my qualifications. Suffice it to say, that after many years spent in active mercantile occupations, I have now been for some time a sleeping partner in one of the best established banking houses near the ’Change; that I understand as well as most men the value of money and the art of getting it; that I am skilled in all the mysteries of the stocks, and by an attention to their variations I would engage to improve the fortunes committed to my care and management. Such it appears to me is the Treasurer the Ladies at Tabby Hall must want; and in regard to my companionable qualities (as I suppose the officers of the Society, if not constant residents, must be occasional visitants at the Hall), I have never belonged to that class of citizens who waste their substance in sumptuous dinners, and make the price of turtle and old wine on continual rise in the markets. I have always been content with quiet sociable good living at home, and am therefore neither plethoric nor gouty, but a hale bachelor of nine and fifty, with a clear head, a sound constitution, and a cheerful temper. I play a good game at whist, read the news with a tolerable grace, and drive with a steady hand my four-wheeled chaise, in which I hope to have the pleasure of taking the Ladies for an airing by turns. I am not particular as to the matter of residence; if I stay in town I can give better attention to the funds; if I live at or near Tabby Hall I shall contribute my share to the agreeableness of the party there; but what would best suit me, as I have sold my country house at Clapham and have not met with another to my mind, would be to reside part of the year in London and the rest at the Hall. Other terms I shall not enter into till I have the esteemed favour of your reply (except that I can give security to any amount) but I dare say we shall not differ about them. In the meantime I remain, waiting your answer,

your humble Servant,
Croesus Custody