The Mob Cap

Mr Kennion

The Mob Cap — or the retort


Quoth Kate “I will no longer bear
The rudeness of your jest
Since fully I’m resolv’d to wear
Whatever I like best.”


“So much if you dislike my head
 Pray look another way:
I’m not by inclination led
 To mind what you may say — “


“I really cannot understand
 Why you keep up this railing!
Thank heaven, I’m not at your command
 Nor is to yield my failing — “


“Must I sit down the easy elf?
 Comply with all forsooth?
No, I’ll please no one but myself
 And that the honest truth —”


Nay Kate, you need not make a rout,
 Cries Ralph, I only meant,
Your Head and all that hangs about
 In colours fit to paint.


You should not thus give way to passion
 Because I recommended
Compliance, not with me, but fashion
 The thing was well intended.


Perhaps you secretly desire
 To triumph in this boast
“That beauty plays her warmest fire
 When unadorned the most.”


Be this the case, I’ll set my wit
 And spleen some other Job on,
And fairly own you do what’s fit
 To keep that shabby Mob on.


I’ll strive to view, in fancy’s spite
 Without regret that face,
Tho’ most ridiculous the sight,
 Peep through a rim of lace.


In truth ’tis but an awkward look
 While blooming to begin,
Like antiquated maids to brook,
 Support, beneath your chin —


One would have thought it time enough
 When withering nature draws
Towards decay, to tie that rough
 Surcingle round your jaws


But were it thought that to enhance
 Your beauty ’tis designed
Folks shrewdly might believe perchance
 The Mob but poorly lin’d —

London — January 1809