Mr Headeater
Sir
I am sure I dont know how some peple can have the conscienciousness to give other peple so much trubbel and take away my caracter by saying I was marrid when i am sure i never deserved it in all my life. And i cried my eyes out of my head about i and I was in a historical fit all day long after i heard of it. Pray Sir dont suffer such storys to be rummerd in your Siety but contradict them for they are nothing but mollignant and mollevolent Censors.
What is it to me if Mr Mitre is a good looking young man — and a substantial young man — I am sure he always behaved as civil to me as if he been my own brother. But I ought not to be blamed for that for I am sure it was not my fault and i have had uneasiness enouff about that, but no young woman could behave more prudenter than i have done, for when poor Mr Mitre was blow’d up, down upon the ground by the bursting up of Miss Botherem’s frying pan and when his organs were all constipulated (as she said) higgledy piggledy in a consternation of incongruelties I laid a plaster upon the confusion in his head for which he represented a crown piece to me and this is all I do assure you as ever passd between us so I hope in future you will never give hear to storys about being marrid or anything else undelicate about me. Indeed Mr Headeater the very thoughts of this disagreeable subject throws me into such a frustration that you must excuse the shortness of my letter. And I remain
till death yr servant
to cumhand
K Maltravers
I had like to forgot Sir that I left my Lady Bell when she marrid the parson, for I had no mind to go and rustify in a village parsonage house tho she had, but then she went with the man of her choice and as the poet says “Omnia squints at Amy!”
And so I have got the appointment of woman to Miss Squib, who is no more tied in the jug-ale knot than i am. For all the fibs that are told about it, and my new lady would write to tell you about it but she is not very well having been up all night at the raging sea breakfast, and she is quiet tired of it, but she will write soon, and sends her respects. And I shall write again when I have time but I am mostly pretty busy, being quite my Lady’s jactotum.