Mr Julep’s Memorandums

Miss Vardill

Copies of Mr Julep’s memorandums found in Miss Croaker’s room

“Beauty without smiles is like heaven without the sun.”

Memorandum This has been said twice to Emily Echowell who is too silly to understand it; but it will do for Saccharissa.

“Speak of yourself; for those who speak well should always speak on the best subject.” A mighty pretty saying from many occasions.

Mem. Must not use it too often to Lady Belle or Mrs Nettletop, for fear they should think me in earnest.

 When Love is rash and Fortune kind,
 Fortune and Love, they say, are blind;
 But Nature veils your eyes to shew
 That Beauty may be sightless too.

This will do for Miss Croaker who has bleared eyes, and looks as if she expected me to say something.

N:B: I wonder who wrote these lines under St Agnes’s portrait? — but they may pass for mine.

“Presents gracefully given are the most persuasive ways of courtship” says Ovid. N:B: My grandmother’s watch-case will be a pretty cheap gift to Miss Squib as a porringer for her lap-dog.

“Bo, bo, bo!” is the chorus of Greek lovesong. It may be dangerous therefore, to say BO to a goose.

“The company of men wants a certain softness — the company of women, without you, wants everything!” A pretty sentence, but rather too particular: it might raise unwarranted expectations.

 By turns a mortal and his mate
 Might govern in due season,
 If Nature taught mankind to prate
 And Woman how to reason.

 But as it is, we helpless Men
 Are worsted in the battle;
 For oft we lose our wits — but when
 Do Women lose their prattle?

A good retort-courteous for Miss B. N:B: I owe her a quip, for while I was merry last night, she said Lucian must have been wrong when he supposed apes could not laugh.

 Here Nature doth her works display
 In wonders huge and great:
 Besides there are large clumps of trees
 Which earth do OPARATE!

Mem. May serve for the 1st stanza of my descriptive sonnet on Dovedale.