The Advertising Lady’s Interview

Miss Brown

The unfortunate spinster who lately advertized has still the grief of finding that the youth whom her inclination and her judgment had selected and to whom she gave an opportunity of declaring himself through the medium of the ATTIC CHEST is still regardless of the flame which has nearly consumed her, she resolves no longer to be the slave of such ungovernable passion but to make a choice more worthy of her. She must decline the addresses of the West Indian, for his indolence, of Alopex for his audacity and his poverty, Mr Simkin Slenderwit for his vulgarity, and the honourable Mr Dives, for his want of the respect due to female delicacy, and his ignorance of those tender sentiments and sympathies which form the charms of matrimony and which even his immense wealth is unable to counterbalance. But notwithstanding her inflexibility to these (she must consider them unfortunate gentlemen), her heart has not been able to withstand the tender lays of the poet who in calling himself DAMON brings back to her lively imagination the fabled delights of the golden age and the flowery meads of Arcadia and of Tempé.

From the sublimity of the poetry the lady hopes to find in Damon a heart congenial to her own and requests an interview that when they have ocular demonstration of each other, if no obstacles should occur the marriage may be celebrated without further delay. The lady will be at Birchall’s Music Warehouse in Bond Street on Friday at 2 o’clock. The description of her person was mentioned in her first advertisement. She will wear a black hat, feathers, and veil, and she may be distinguished by not having either ridicule or basket, but she will wave a white handkerchief gracefully in her hand.

P.S. It certainly could be no friend of the advertiser who inserted so odious a falsehood respecting her talent for boxing. Damon may rest assured that he will find her the softest of her sex, for could she whose tender soul cannot see a fly destroyed without shrieking lift her hand against the Lords of the Creation.