Miss Porden

Were all men honest — well I ween
On earth I never yet had been
Yet, and I glory in the boast —
’Tis robbers that detest me most.

A faithful friend, I closely hide
Whate’er to me my lords confide —
Nor tattle on my own affairs
My heart one trusty brother shares.

Tho parted oft, to him alone —
Its movements, and its springs are known
But he, when handled by the base
Turn’d to their use, my trust betrays.

Yet many a Proteus shape I wear
Now shine like gold, am black or fair,
And now with added charms I deck
(Native or false) Belinda’s neck.

I analiz’d the world of mind,
Like Helen once my ravish’d charms
Caus’d man — and more than man to arms
Nor can one sportsman’s gun be heard.

The death knell of some hapless bird
Nor on the Battle’s fatal day
One musquet ball can seek its prey
Until I give its fury way —

Of my third quarter basely reft
A Scandinavian God I’m left,
But not improv’d, I take to evil
Something between a Puck and devil.

Nay more this Isle’s unrivall’d trade
Could scarce subsist without my aid,
Or streams unfailing proudly bear
The freighted barge this Earth and air
Then, Ladies haste, my secret shew,
And I’m no more myself to you.